Terminal eczema

In February I developed a rash on three fingers of my right hand. I didn't know what it was, but my fingers were so itchy that sometimes I would wake at night and wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. I thought I would give it a month; if it didn't clear up by then, I would go to the doctor. In the meantime, I did some googling and self-diagnosed ringworm. One site advised soaking the affected area in cider vinegar. I did that. Another suggested applying salt 30 minutes a day and in a week all would be well. I did that too. It wasn't. At that point I decided to call the doctor, but was told that I couldn't get in to see her until after my trip to Calgary and Winnipeg. I wondered how I was going to manage. I googled some more and read that one of the symptoms of scabies is itching that gets much worse at night. Neem oil was recommended (it has anti-inflammatory properties and is used as an insecticide in agriculture). I bought a bottle at the natural food store (1 oz, $17). It did control the itchiness, which was fabulous, but my fingers remained red and puffy and scaly. The friend I visited in Calgary discreetly turned her mattress over before I left. I guess that was a natural precaution, since I told her I didn't know what I had but did mention ringworm and scabies as possibilities. I hope it's not eczema, she said. My mom's friend had that and it's really hard to control.

It's eczema, the doctor said immediately.

She gave me a prescription for a strong cortisone cream* (15 grams, $25). After reading the possible side effects, which include thinning skin, glaucoma, kidney damage, and a gold medal in wrestling, I got scared and decided to try a more natural approach. Trusty Google informed me that creams containing calendula were good for inflammatory skin conditions, so I bought a cream from the local health food store made from wildcrafted calendula and other herbs (60 ml, $24). (Sorry, I know I'm mixing metric and US measurements, or maybe weight and volume(?), but I'm reporting what's on the label.) When I read the product insert I realized I should have bought their Red Clover Plus cream, which is recommended specifically for eczema. So I went back and bought a tube of that as well, at a slightly cheaper price (60 ml, $20). The doctor told me it was important to use a good-quality moisturizer on my hands, so I picked up a jar of organic cream that contains shea butter, olive oil, and other oils, with no fragrance or preservatives (weight unknown, but it cost about $25). I also picked up some German hand cream containing chamomile, glycerine and silicone, since the doctor had mentioned that barrier creams containing silicone might help (5 oz, $7). Then I did a massage exchange with someone and she told me that she used to have terrible eczema on her hands and washing with Cetaphil instead of soap really helped. So I bought a bottle of that (295 ml, $14) and carry it around with me everywhere. I also bought some jojoba oil (60 ml, $12) and some lotion containing colloidal oatmeal (532 ml, $13). The other day I was in the health food store yet again and had to make a concerted effort not to buy yet another cream that promised to help skin conditions like eczema. It was $28.

The eczema spread from three fingers to the back of my right hand, and now it's appearing on my left hand and starting to make its way up my right arm. I'm afraid that eventually it will spread over my whole body and I'll become Reptile Woman--(this is either an en dash or an em dash or a hyphen: take your pick) which might be OK if I also developed some superpowers to go along with my scaliness, but I bet that won't happen. I'm also afraid that this is never going to go away. Can I live another 30 or 40 years with this almost constant itchiness? I know that on the great hike through life this is rather trivial. Getting a diagnosis of a life-threatening disease would be like meeting a mother of a bear on the trail and then turning around and seeing a baby bear behind you. Developing eczema is more like encountering a deer fly. But if you have ever had a deer fly circling your head constantly for hours and hours, you will know that even if it never drinks your blood it can drive you insane. You might want to run into those bears after six hours of a deer fly.

*As an aside, when the doctor was giving me the prescription for the cortisone she told me that I should apply it a maximum of twice a day. If you wash your hands more than twice a day... she started saying. I didn't hear the rest. I was too busy wondering whether my doctor is part of that scary proportion of health care professionals who don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom. Either that or she has a wonder bladder.