I've also known, for years, that my dream destination in Italy is the Cinque Terre. But other than these two places, I didn't know where else to go. There's too much choice and only so much one can fit in three weeks, especially when one week is already accounted for. So I googled “best places to see Northern Italy.” Bolzano appeared (like Brigadoon), a midsize town in the Dolomites, which are part of the Italian Alps. Bolzano is near the Austrian border, meaning there's lots of apple strudel to be had. There are three cable cars from town that go up into the mountains, from where there are footpaths to little villages serving more apple strudel. There is also a biking trail that follows the river and passes by hordes of castles, some of which have trattoria that serve yet more apple strudel. With no intention of gloating, here's a photo of the area around Bolzano:
Oh, and did I mention that Bolzano has an archaeological museum where the oldest mummy ever found is on display? Apple strudel, Alps, and an ancient mummy; what more could one ask for?
The Mediterranean perhaps? After four nights in Bolzano I head to the Cinque Terre, a series of five villages that were former pirate havens and, judging from the price of the accommodation, now plunder tourists' pockets instead (but in such an enchanting way that no one cares). A walking trail along the coast connects the five villages, and there are more trails that head inland. It was difficult to decide which of the five villages to stay in, but so many places were booked up that I ended up choosing the middle village where one has to climb 370 steps to get from the train station to the town, which is probably why it was a bit easier to find accommodation there. With no intention of gloating, here's a view from the place that I'm staying for four nights:
and the breakfast area:
As an aside, I have the somewhat oxymoronic goal of losing ten pounds in Italy. Even though I feel this is doable owing to my refusal to take taxis, the biking or walking that is involved to get to the next apple strudel, and the need to climb 370 steps to get to places, someone I divulged my goal to snorted and said that someone she knows gained thirty pounds in three weeks there. Also, since I have so many trains to catch and hence so many times I have to lug my luggage, I wish that someone would design a line of reversible quick-dry clothing that one wouldn't feel embarrassed walking around Milan in, or better yet, freeze-dried clothing that, when you add some water, pops up into a fashionable outfit.
Back to the planning... one week left. Hoping to find a yoga retreat, I googled “Yoga retreats Italy”. I didn't find any yoga ones for the dates I wanted, but a silent meditation retreat in Assisi fit my schedule perfectly. Participants stay at a farm house in the countryside and every afternoon one can opt to go to Assisi and sightsee or talk someone's ear off. Or one can just stay at the farm house and gaze at olive groves.
With no intention of gloating,
here's some information about the retreat space.
Then I had to decide on flights. Although Nice is the closest airport to San Remo, it proved much cheaper and more direct to fly into and out of Rome (even though it means an eight-hour train ride to San Remo instead of a one-hour journey from Nice). So I had to find accommodation for the first and last nights of my trip there. That has been challenging, especially trying to find a place around the train station that isn't too expensive, isn't completely grungy, and wasn't already booked. I've spent weeks on Tripadvisor--“on” being the correct word, as I have become quite addicted to reading reviews. In addition to things like “crusty toenails in the bed”, “hair in the shower drain caused it to overflow”, “just like home... if you live in an insane asylum” and “don't stay here even if you have to”, there are entertaining anecdotes, like the one about the couple that found a person sleeping on the floor of the closet in their room. When they complained to the manager he told them that it was OK, it was just a staff person who likes to nap in there.
I finally found a place called Fawlty Towers that sounded perfect. Whoever owns it obviously has a sense of humour, and it is reasonably priced and close to the train station. I was filling out the booking form and then thought that maybe I should check Tripadvisor before pressing "Send". Apparently the place is even worse than what one might expect at Basil Fawlty's establishment. Here is a sampling of comments from past guests:
I can't believe a place like this exists. It was one of the WORST places I have ever seen for tourists. A true nightmare! To bad to be true!!!! Horrible place.....it should be shut down. The bathroom smelled like sewage and the bed was broken. Never stay there and spread the word!! The room is terrible. The bed was broken, and the cereal is so old it became one big chunky piece of rice crispy. The bathroom smelled horrible and was covered in a 1/8" layer of water over the whole floor. There wasn't a shower cubicle just a shower head on the wall and an open drain hole on the floor. Water would go everywhere and there was about enough room to stand on one leg with the other in the toilet. The room reeked of mildew and the walls and ceiling had mold on them. The toilet seat was mostly broken, the sink had no water pressure, the shower only had one sliding door which was broken and the shower head was hanging limply from the wall. Absolutely the worst hotel of our 45 day trip. The worst part was the Indian receptionist. He barged into my room without knocking at 12:30 am and told me I was too loud when I was half asleep in bed. He told me to pack up my things and leave and that he was calling the cops. When I told him to get out of my room, he told me he was a drug dealer in the day and knew people. All the other people in the nearby rooms where we were staying were disgruntled, especially people who were there with their friends, and who didn't want to have a shower in the bedroom with their friend able to see in. Even though we had a shower in our room, we didn't use it as it was so tiny and you had to be a contortionist to open the door and manage to enter the bathroom at the same time, so we used the communal bathroom
So was the cheap room rate at Fawlty Towers worth it? This is what we received:
1) Bed bug bites ALL over our bodies and faces that took over a month to heal
2) A £150 bill for the exterminators to eradicate bed bugs that had travelled in our luggage and taken residency in London with us.
In 20 years of traveling to places like India, Guatemala and Kenya, this is the worst hotel I've ever visited. It is completely infested with bed bugs -- they swarm the beds at night. I got about 50 bites in the course of a night. Completely disgusting.
I immediately hit "Close" on the booking form. After a few days of emailing places that sounded decent and were near the train station, I finally got a promising reply from The Beehive. They were full on the dates I'm going to be in Rome, but they did have a private room in one of their rental apartments. With every intention of gloating, here is where I'll be staying (click on Millefiori).
Some of you might not actually find this gloatworthy, considering that one has to share a bathroom, possibly with a very hairy man, and the building is in what the owners describe as a gritty area (which doesn't equate with dangerous; from what I've been reading, you're very unlikely to be a victim of violent crime in Italy unless you have mob connections). However, in addition to being funky, which pretty much sells me on anything, it's 70 euros a night, which is a great price for Rome (by comparison, a room at Fawlty Towers is 60 euros). And 93% of reviewers recommend staying there, compared to the 83% who strongly advise against staying at Fawlty Towers. So I'm gloating.
