Saturday, December 5, 2009

The things I don't know

The number of things I don't know would easily fill a book, even one as long as A La Recherche Du Temps Perdu, which apparently is the world's longest book (I didn't know this before today). So I will confine this post to things I learned yesterday that I didn't know, but now know today (this mainly came about through playing Cranium, although Deloney's now-disappeared blog post also played a role). I didn't know that The Muppets and Sesame Street were two different shows. I didn't know that “exhilarate” isn't spelled e-x-h-i-l-i-a-r-a-t-e. Although I knew I couldn't draw, I didn't know that I was so bad at it: when I was attempting to sketch a book worm, one of my teammates guessed “aquarium manager” (N.B. when it was his turn he drew a line and a square which, somehow, we were supposed to divine was the Canadian-American border and a shopping mall, hence “cross-border shopping”). I didn't know that Maureen can draw so well, even with her eyes closed (or were they?). I didn't know that both General Wolfe and the Marquis (I didn't know he was a Marquis either) de Montcalm died during the Battle of the Plains of Abraham (technically, Montcalm died the next day, something else I didn't know but now do thanks to Wikipedia). I didn't know that a group of owls is a parliament, and I didn't know that tumid means swollen or inflated.

I am happy to report that I did know a few things. I knew instantly that when someone started whipping her head around wildly she was acting out The Exorcist, but unfortunately she wasn't on my team. And I did know, well OK, I guessed correctly, that Luxembourgians speak Luxembourgish, but my teammates refused to believe me and we didn't get to proceed to the next red marker. Sheeesh, what a bunch of morons.

One last thing... today I went to such-and-such esthetics for a facial. I severely under-tipped the esthetician, which I didn't know until she swore at me. OK, that's not what happened. But I did under-tip her, not deliberately mind you, but because I was a bit discombobulated (you know what that means, right?), maybe because my face and head had been rubbed too much. Anyways, my co-workers and I are going to such-and-such esthetics in two weeks for a Sparty. With any luck, my co-workers will never know why the Sparty service was so bad.

7 comments:

Cedarwaxwing said...

I love Cranium, but didn't know most of what you didn't know either.

Mali said...

Your posts are alway worth waiting for, Helen!
I didn't know most of that.

I'm so glad we don't tip in NZ. It would scare me stupid always worrying if I'd tipped enough or too much.

Indigo Bunting said...

Tipping is very scary business. And until a minute ago, I didn't know the word Sparty.

Bridgett said...

Aquarium manager! I can't read any more! That's awesome.

One time in pictionary my partner was supposed to draw "bonfire" and started with the assembly, as if it were instructions on how to build a bonfire. We didn't guess it ("skyscraper!" I kept yelling...)

Deloney said...

You can't trust Wiki. By "book" they must mean "novel." Proust's "In Search of Lost Time" was seven volumes, each of them more or less the same length. The longest novel I'm aware of was "A Chronicle of Ancient Sunlight" by Henry Williamson. Fifteen volumes. He isn't much known these days for the very good reason that he was a Nazi sympathizer during WW11.

Word verification (and I'm not making this up): sheash

Helen said...

If I ever play Cranium again Deloney I want you on my team.

Sheash.

Deloney said...

And there another multi-volume novel longer than Proust's: "A Dance to the Music of Time" by Anthony Powell (12 volumes).