Mistaken identities

A funny thing happened to me on my way into Canadian Tire the other day. A man stepped back to let me go through the turnstile first. Then he said “I haven't seen you for a while.” I turned to look at him. Couldn't place him at all. “You don't recognize me?” he asked. I continued to look puzzled. “From the meetings?” More puzzled still. Then he leaned forward and said in an undertone: “Alcoholics Anonymous.” I immediately and with some indignation replied “You must have mistaken me for someone else.” I'm sure he's sure that I'm in denial.

My point – aside from the fact that I seem to attract a lot of oddballs – is that I've been mistaken for a number of different people in Kingston. Most often it's Jody. Once by a yoga teacher, who obviously didn't know either of us very well. Once by someone walking on the opposite sidewalk, who was waving wildly. “Hi Jody!” she shouted. I smiled and waved wildly and shouted back “I'm not Jody!” In the small world that is Kingston I actually ended up working with Jody's husband. At times I was tempted to ask him if he was at all attracted to me, given that I obviously resembled his wife. But I was afraid of getting slapped with a sexual harassment suit. Last month at a concert someone a few rows ahead of us turned, saw me, and called out “Hi Deb.” She came to talk to us during the intermission, at which time I informed her I was not Deb. She had already realized her mistake as she approached us. For in the small world that is Kingston it turns out that she was the friend of someone I had dated when I moved here, and we had met many years before. But because I was with Brenda who has a friend named Deb who looks like me from afar, she assumed I must be Deb. Someone once asked me if I was the person who worked at the convenience store near their house. And I also remind someone of a lawyer in town. My appearance fits comfortably into any profession.

I've met two of my alleged Doppelgangers, Jody and Deb, and in my opinion our faces don't look alike. But our hair looks the same. I used to think my hair was unique, but apparently there are a number of women with lumpy hair wandering around Kingston. So if it ever makes the news that Helen of Kingston has committed some heinous crime or failed the 12-step program, it's probably a case of mistaken identity.